Brother: Another book store? How do you find all these?
Me: There was a sign back there.
Brother: I swear to a god you have some inner magnetic sense drawing you to books. I bet I could drop you in Siberia and you'd be in a bookstore in a bloody day.

punacceptable:

HOW do white people wear shoes inside the house i dont understand that scares me so much

request (x)

damnitsizzi:

ahoyamity:

ausonia:

Moon Bridge

how the fuck are you supposed to cross that

With determination.

damnitsizzi:

ahoyamity:

ausonia:

Moon Bridge

how the fuck are you supposed to cross that

With determination.

rubybellucci:

*watches anaconda video*

me: *does 100 squats*

thisiskindagross:

Even though I don’t really drink wine, my sister bought me this brand called “Lost Angel” as a joke to the comic.

image

Of course I had to make it better.

image

There we go.

does anybody know if drake is still alive
If Fanfiction was Real
mishasminions:

worldsgreatestliar:

mishasminions:

IT’S AUGUST 20 IN MOST PARTS OF THE WORLD I’M OFFICIALLY 17 YEARS AND 72 MONTHS AND I’M CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY WITH THIS HIPSTER CRAP BECAUSE WE RAN OUT OF WHISKEY AND CAPTAIN RUM
BTW THANKS EVERYONE WHO’S BEEN WISHING ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY

I saw this and almost forgot that everyone who is not American can drink at 17

THE EXTRA 72 MONTHS HELPS A LOT

mishasminions:

worldsgreatestliar:

mishasminions:

IT’S AUGUST 20 IN MOST PARTS OF THE WORLD
I’M OFFICIALLY 17 YEARS AND 72 MONTHS
AND I’M CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY WITH THIS HIPSTER CRAP BECAUSE WE RAN OUT OF WHISKEY AND CAPTAIN RUM

BTW THANKS EVERYONE WHO’S BEEN WISHING ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY

I saw this and almost forgot that everyone who is not American can drink at 17

THE EXTRA 72 MONTHS HELPS A LOT

jennathegh0stgirl:

elouphant:

elouphant:

my-sterious:

haziea:

transcriber:

donest:

horrorpopped:

Single September
Only me October
No boyfriend November
D-deprived December

Just me January

Forever alone February

Me myself and I March

Alone again April

Maybe it’ll happen May

Just kidding June

Jesus I need a man July

WHEN ONE IS EXPECTING

imyourdestinymotherfucker:

Today, I bought this book (for my sister, lets clarify that now ‘cause the only way I’m going anywhere near sperm is if I fall into a vat of it):

image

BUT WAIT

THIS:

image

IS:

image

SOME:

image

OF THE BRILLIANT:

image

STUFF IT HAS IN IT:

image

danielkanhai:

how many muggle born kids showed up at hogwarts like, “i get you’re into magic and don’t get me wrong, magic is awesome, but please don’t try and tell me quills and inkwells make more sense than pencils. i realize you have an aesthetic going, but admit it’s that. admit it’s just for looks.”

true as fuck zodiac
aries: lovable but still a lil bitch
taurus: p cute but probably sacrifices hamsters to satan in their free time
gemini: crayola as fuck
cancer: rude as hell and not to be trusted with shit
leo: cutest ever
virgo: really deep and doesn't take any shit
libra: weird as hell omg
scorpio: probably satan
sagittarius: cute and very sweet
capricorn: to be avoided bc they're like taurus but they probs talk about their hamster sacrifices
aquarius: charming but hella strange once you know them
pisces: even more crayola than gemini